I've been completely stuck recently. It's like writer's block, but more than that. It's a curious sense of futility that somehow carries a sense of liberation, and it's a sense of freedom that carries with it a huge sense of loss.
Since lockdown began, seeing all our gigs get cancelled, followed by music festivals, flights, and ultimately the disintegration of the music scene all over the world, I have found it impossible to make a sound. I'm finding this hard to write, not because it is an emotional subject - which it is, but because I really don't know what to say and that is unusual for me. Maybe that's not it, maybe it's more that I don't know who I'm saying it to, or why I'm raising my voice at all. On one hand I'm enjoying the time to let my mind wander, and on the other I'm worried about my focus giving way, atrophying.
Gigs will come back, festivals will come back. And won't we all be gloriously rusty, weeping with sorrow and relief and completely, beautifully vulnerable.
There are many strands to my work and sometimes it's hard to find a balance, but they all feed each other and each part would be weaker without the others. Here are some insights I have picked up along the way.